Whether you plan to have an "arranged marriage" or to marry the person of your own choice, it is important to think whether both of you are compatible. Although there is no formula for the perfect partnership, research does indicate some important factors that have an impact on marriage.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself with that special person in mind:
How similar are you in age, interests, values, socioeconomic level, education, religion?
It's not impossible to have a successful marriage when there are major differences, but it is much harder. Some of these factors may not seem very important to you now, but when you are together through the years they may be a source of trouble.
Are your needs, likes and dislikes Complementary" or "Contradictory"?
If one of you likes to talk a lot while the other prefers to listen and observe, you will complement or balance each other and the relationship could remain smooth. But if one partner likes to party every night and the other hates parties and wants to stay at home, they have contradictory needs and frequent conflicts are likely.
Do you find the person attractive?
Feelings of attraction should never be the only basis for choosing a partner, but if there are no positive feelings, this should not be ignored.
Are both of you adaptable?
How willing are you to adjust to differences? Are you willing to do things a little differently if it will make your partner more comfortable?
Are you both emotionally stable?
Are you able to accept your feelings and express them appropriately? Or are you inclined to bottle up your feelings or "blow up" at the least provocation?
Can you communicate freely on a range of subjects?
Are you sensitive to each other and do you understand each others views? Can you say what you really think or are you constantly trying to make a good impression?
Finally, are both of you ready to commit yourselves for a lifetime?
Both of you have to be willing to work at your marriage through good circumstances and bad. That may sound unromantic, but it's the only way to "live happily ever after".
Here are some questions you can ask yourself with that special person in mind:
How similar are you in age, interests, values, socioeconomic level, education, religion?
It's not impossible to have a successful marriage when there are major differences, but it is much harder. Some of these factors may not seem very important to you now, but when you are together through the years they may be a source of trouble.
Are your needs, likes and dislikes Complementary" or "Contradictory"?
If one of you likes to talk a lot while the other prefers to listen and observe, you will complement or balance each other and the relationship could remain smooth. But if one partner likes to party every night and the other hates parties and wants to stay at home, they have contradictory needs and frequent conflicts are likely.
Do you find the person attractive?
Feelings of attraction should never be the only basis for choosing a partner, but if there are no positive feelings, this should not be ignored.
Are both of you adaptable?
How willing are you to adjust to differences? Are you willing to do things a little differently if it will make your partner more comfortable?
Are you both emotionally stable?
Are you able to accept your feelings and express them appropriately? Or are you inclined to bottle up your feelings or "blow up" at the least provocation?
Can you communicate freely on a range of subjects?
Are you sensitive to each other and do you understand each others views? Can you say what you really think or are you constantly trying to make a good impression?
Finally, are both of you ready to commit yourselves for a lifetime?
Both of you have to be willing to work at your marriage through good circumstances and bad. That may sound unromantic, but it's the only way to "live happily ever after".
