Traditionally men have been the bread-winners and women took care of the home. In today's world large numbers of women are working outside the home and this trend is on the increase. Most men are happy to have working wives. They are glad to have the additional income and proud of their wives? achievements. They may find it easier to discuss work since their wives understand the world of work. And it can be a tremendous relief not to be the sole provider for the family.But there's the down side too. There are fears about how the home will run, lack of time for each other, perhaps even a change in the husband-wife equation. These are very real concerns and it is important for husbands and wives to discuss them and decide how they are going to make things work.
"I need a WIFE"
The traditional wife took care of the home and children, saw that everything ran smoothly and took care of husband, children and parents / in-laws. When the wife works outside the home, the husband worries: Who will see that the clothes are laundered, there's a hot meal on the table, the children and elderly parents are looked after? Who will welcome me home, be the nurturer and take care of me when I'm ill?
The truth is that both partners would love to have a "wife" who would take over all these responsibilities so that they are free to do their work in peace!
Today's couples need to find creative ways of getting all these tasks done (utilising outside help whenever possible) and be available to nurture each other. If both partners can share the household responsibilities, it would leave them with more time for each other. Do negotiate which tasks you would prefer to do ? and then perhaps split up the ones that you both hate! It's not always possible or even necessary to divide the work 50-50, as long as both partners feel it's fair. As always, communication is the key.
There's no time for each other
If both husband and wife work long hours, or even different shifts, there's no doubt that time will be in short supply. And without time spent together the relationship will suffer.
Dual career couples have to make conscious efforts to make time for each other. This may involve some planning and tweaking of schedules, but it does need to be given priority. Each partner needs to protect the little time they have. As far as possible, try to cut down on bringing work home, and try to keep phone calls to the minimum. While each of you does need some time with friends, this should not cut too much into couple time.
Handling a wife's success
Even a man who is truly proud of his wife's achievement / career may feel somewhat threatened when she succeeds, particularly if she earns more than he does. Traditional upbringing called for men to outrank their wives in income, education, status and power. A husband may worry that if his wife is successful she will no longer need him or respect him and that her behaviour towards him and his parents may change. Also, with success often comes longer working hours, perhaps more travel or even re-location; and this would certainly have an impact on married life. It is much better for these feelings to be brought up openly and discussed.
It really helps when both partners share the success rather than getting trapped into one-upmanship. A woman cannot give herself "permission to succeed" unless she has the wholehearted support and encouragement of her husband. (This is particularly important when there is lack of support from other family members.) It goes without saying that a husband needs his wife's support through the ups and downs of his career. So BOTH partners can take credit for each other's success.
"I need a WIFE"
The traditional wife took care of the home and children, saw that everything ran smoothly and took care of husband, children and parents / in-laws. When the wife works outside the home, the husband worries: Who will see that the clothes are laundered, there's a hot meal on the table, the children and elderly parents are looked after? Who will welcome me home, be the nurturer and take care of me when I'm ill?
The truth is that both partners would love to have a "wife" who would take over all these responsibilities so that they are free to do their work in peace!
Today's couples need to find creative ways of getting all these tasks done (utilising outside help whenever possible) and be available to nurture each other. If both partners can share the household responsibilities, it would leave them with more time for each other. Do negotiate which tasks you would prefer to do ? and then perhaps split up the ones that you both hate! It's not always possible or even necessary to divide the work 50-50, as long as both partners feel it's fair. As always, communication is the key.
There's no time for each other
If both husband and wife work long hours, or even different shifts, there's no doubt that time will be in short supply. And without time spent together the relationship will suffer.
Dual career couples have to make conscious efforts to make time for each other. This may involve some planning and tweaking of schedules, but it does need to be given priority. Each partner needs to protect the little time they have. As far as possible, try to cut down on bringing work home, and try to keep phone calls to the minimum. While each of you does need some time with friends, this should not cut too much into couple time.
Handling a wife's success
Even a man who is truly proud of his wife's achievement / career may feel somewhat threatened when she succeeds, particularly if she earns more than he does. Traditional upbringing called for men to outrank their wives in income, education, status and power. A husband may worry that if his wife is successful she will no longer need him or respect him and that her behaviour towards him and his parents may change. Also, with success often comes longer working hours, perhaps more travel or even re-location; and this would certainly have an impact on married life. It is much better for these feelings to be brought up openly and discussed.
It really helps when both partners share the success rather than getting trapped into one-upmanship. A woman cannot give herself "permission to succeed" unless she has the wholehearted support and encouragement of her husband. (This is particularly important when there is lack of support from other family members.) It goes without saying that a husband needs his wife's support through the ups and downs of his career. So BOTH partners can take credit for each other's success.
